Before I begin, I wanna clarify that I’m writing about adults who’ve been able to go to college, make more than minimum wage - healthy middle class folk, basically. The following absolutely does not apply across the lines of class, mental/physical health, etc.
Few things make me grumpier than someone who’s 25 or older acting like a god damned toddler. To me, part of being an adult is acknowledging the ways in which your parents were fuck-ups and dealing with it. This can mean letting go of past transgressions/abuses, confronting your parents, cutting your parents our of your life completely, and a million other things. Really, as long as you’ve processed your feelings, separated your past from your present, and made a plan of action that’s right for your own well being, go for it! You’re doin’ it right! The thing I can’t abide is when grown ass people let their past dictate their present behavior, flipping out at a parent who’s being polite and reasonable in the moment for something they fucked up 20 years ago. Like, if you need to talk about something your parent did or didn’t do to you when you were a kid, go right ahead, but make sure you’re in a headspace where you can have a constructive conversation, not a hissy fit or worse. No one has the time or patience to deal with constant fighting, weepy voicemails, etc., especially when I know so many adults whose parents terrorized or abandoned them or put them in unsafe situations deal with their family shit like god damned rock stars. STOP WHINING AND STEP UP.